Worse than the dolphin whisperer? Worse than the Go Compare bloke, particularly in his latest incarnation in a black cab? Those have me reaching for the remote control. Haribo ads just wash over me.

People who ask you a question just as you take a bite of something

I also hate people that make digs about what your eating etc. **** off.

I hate those pathetic women. Those adverts have been going on for years making out Maltesers are only for stupid lonely women on the verge of tribbing each other while their husbands are quite rightly out with frozen Mars Bar loving brasses.

Having to google what tribbing meant.

Or on chopping boards/random lumps of wood which is just so edgy and out there these days

I don't mind cold plates if they're round my bellend.

any kind of comments on what/how much I'm eating are very offputting

G/f taking photos of what we're eating & posting to the world on Facebook. Who gives a s**t? (Other girls, apparently - Ed.) Oh yes, sorry, this gets 'em excited man!

Big Macs look the same the world over.

Coconut water

First you think Engeerland is west of Wales and then you admit to not knowing what tribbing is (from which I can only assume you don't view XHamster, which makes you totally weird).

You're not making life easy for yourself mate...

I fear that the contents of this thread may come as something of a surprise to you.

http://cpfc.org/forums/showthread.php?t=133492

Even more annoying is the caption which inevitably includes the word 'scrummy', 'yummy' or 'yum'. I don't know why those words irritate me but anyone over the age of 5 saying then needs their tongue stapled to a bread board.

When sitting in an aisle seat on a train and you are aware of someone standing next to you. You look up and see them pointing at the empty seat next to you, presumably indicating that they wish to sit there and could I move my legs to allow them to do so.

Just ******* talk you ****wit instead of looking like Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Bodysnatchers.

People who sit on a train with their feet on the empty seat in front of them. Dirty bastards.

Labradoodles.

People who don't put their phone keypad on 'silent'.

I have to say, this is probably the thing that bugs me the most on a daily basis. Ipad owners seem to be particularly bad with this.

The Dartford Crossing. Still takes hours to cross, even now they have made it cashless.