Aggressive swimmers (in the pool I mean)

Well speed up or get **** out of the way!!! :D tide waits for no man!! :p

Things that annoy you
 

Commercial daytime radio DJs.

They honestly believe they're the funniest people on the planet. They bore us to tears about a shitty little 'on the tube in the morning' anecdote and ask the listener questions as if we have the power to respond right there and then, over the airwaves from where we are, back to their little smug-filled wank booth of a radio station.

The Bible. Top band

My wife's a lane Nazi

I don't have digital radio in the car, so pretty much depend on FM. Most of it is very poor now. More and more CD's piling up in the motor.

People who insist on calling London neighbourhoods 'villages'. F*ck off to the Cotswolds.

Trying to buy the correct light bulb.

USB connectors (3rd state)...

Thankfully tech evolution will soon rid us of these lifewasters forever

People who wear gym gear to the shops when they aint been near a gym in zonks.

The BBS.

it's gone from being fun to spiteful and boring. Full of keyboard hard men and know-alls.

They even drove away Steve Browett.

Still living in Crystal Palace?

The expression 'me-time'

Those short-trip wheely suitcases that people lug around behind them. Especially when they then stop in the middle of the footpath and you have to somehow dodge them before stacking it.

Security lights that come on when you walk past someone's house

I say this every year but the Next sale, some marketing knobber deserves a medal for convincing people its such a big event.

Don't dodge them. Plough right over them.*

(*Exempt from this course of action are women and the elderly. I'm not a monster.)

Security lights and alarms that come on when your just prising the window open

I was listening to the radio the other day and a woman was bemoaning car alarms. She was explaining that it really annoys her when they go off at night and she can see the other curtains go as she is looking to see who's car it is.

Her next sentance is that she doesn't see the point of them as everyone just ignores them. Yes that is why you are looking out your window like the others!

Stupid bint.

People who start sentences but don't

They should all be