Stuck at a Tesco petrol station forecourt waiting for a pump to free up. Man in white van using pump where I have parked up behind decides to walk off, get some tissue and start meticulously wiping some diesel spillage by his fuel flap. Wipes and wipes and wipes, then goes over to an older lady alongside, walks off and comes back with tissue and points to her fuel spillage, too. Now leaves perfectly safe and speedy pay at pump option and buggers off to join back of very long queue. Other pumps becoming free but taken by cars after me. Reaching the point of red mist, shout something disgusting based around Tesco being an effing s***hole and drive to Asda where I find they've ran out of diesel!!

[emoji112]

I always forget when I have Mrs Statto with me that she's not as adept as me at spotting & exploiting gaps & invariably turn round to discover she's 4 or 5 people behind me on the escalator

You need a lead!

Someone has to tell old women that the perfect pack of bacon simply doesn't exist, and you're as well picking up the first pack in the pile rather than sifting through every single one

Is she the one who has that board with a very similar message on it every day?

I know that it is just a sign of getting old but I really enjoy this thread.

Flies. Open a window because of the effing heat and within 10 secs there's a little git buzzing around. I've then got to get out of my chair again to get the electric tennis bat fly killer and when I come back he's gone.

In line with Wimbledon being on right now, TV tennis commentators. They have no right to exist, I turned the channel on to watch tennis, not listen to stories about the players' personal lives.

These ****ers always on in between programmes on Sky!... Hate the bald twat...

I love my tennis zappy bat thing.. :p

Students.
They (he :veryangry) comes home from Uni, the food bills sky-rocket, the washing machine doesn't stop, the car suddenly has a couple more dings, despite the washing machine going 24/7 there's dirty clothes lying all over the fecking place, my life-blood espresso coffee machine breaks when he's using it (camel/straw) etc etc

At least wait for him to finish uni.You know, when he moves back in full time:D

Tesco 'Luxury' Toilet Paper. It's not. It's not even Andrex Classic quality. It's a hybrid of the greaseproof paper you used to get in infants. Disappointed to find there are 12 rolls to be got rid of.

The wife for buying Tesco 'Luxury' Toilet paper.

Ed Sheeren - whiney and ginger not a good combo. Years ago we had rock pop stars that looked the part. Ed looks like a nerd (ok buddy holly did but he could sing) and Ed should be in a library.

One where they rigidly enforce the silence rule would be good

Andy Murray's mum. F*ck OFF.

Andy Murray. F*ck off as well.

Andy Murray's missus. Show us yer minge.

:D:D

Is that Murray on a good hair day?

Looks more like a raving noncecase on a pre pubescent Bay City Roller fan enthusiast day to me.