JCB me thinks!

Definitely if you have the access. Even one of them little mini diggers. I'd probably crash that into the house though :)

Setting up your own model railway ?
;)

idiots walking in the street while staring at their bloody phones.

I'm just looking at the BB... Ouch, who put that lampost there?

No bloody way. I stare at enough ballast as it is :)

F*ckwits who stare at their phones on escalators, then stop dead as they get off at the top/bottom.

same goes for tourists (on their phones or not) in London

Is that Desso grass?

You my friend need a little ingenuity:

Part 1

Part 2

:)

Its amazingly wet grass, I had to stand on it to pull the weed control stuff up to the edge and it was proper squelchy. Never lived anywhere with clay soil before, its really shit isnt it.

Your mans really thought about his pea gravel options there hasn't he :)

Bogans

Especially the ones who walk in a diagonal line rather than a straight line. Takes them twice as long to get over , but the upside is it gives me more chance to clip them :D

Grown men who work in offices who use the toilet and are then unable or unwilling to use the toilet brush or perhaps give it another flush, and are content to leave the bowl looking like a 3 year old has been there.

Cyclists

Roaring down Cannon St at 8.15 in the morning and if one of the thousands of pedestrians steps into the road and dares to make them slowdown for even a second they either ring their pathetic little bells furiously or bellow 'get outta the way'

Just how self important have cyclists become?

So you're annoyed because you didn't look before crossing the road?

Scottish people who you do not know on a personal level but you have encountered saying the words 'see you later' instead of 'goodbye'

Ironic, given your handle.