If they're on the phone in the next cubicle (especially if it's a manager on a business related call) you're perfectly entitled to put the heels of your hands over your mouth to make the loudest, wettest fart noises you can accompanied by pained straining noises.

The phrase 'to end 50 years of hurt' to describe England's attempt to win the euros

What a load of cock.

Forgetting my jeans for a night out with work and having to buy some I don't really need. 65 bastard quid and I don't really like them.

And my toothbrush so that was another £3

Wankers who stop across keep clear sings at a junction instead of letting you out and then look straight ahead pretending they are oblivious, rather than acknowledging the frenzied torrent of abuse I am putting their way. Learn how to drive you c*nts.

Beggars who turn rude when you try and ignore them

Keep the receipt and take 'em back in the morning :p

Think you're stuck with the toothbrush mate.

That's why I like you Paul, the thinking mans Palace fan. :p

Could get messy tonight though. In dirty Leeds for beers (as we speak) and then for a ruby and more beers. Not sure they'll take them back with half a lamb chilli masala and some saag aloo down them...

Prolly more chance of taking the toothbrush back

People saying that AFC Wimbledon were at wembley in 1988 when they were only formed 14 years ago

:D

They've probably been taken back 3 times already :) The missus bought 2 ties for a funeral today, I had to model them like the face of tk maxx then they'll be straight back to the shop after the old boy has paid his respects.

Have fun in LEEDS.

Saw a beggar today. He smelled. He was eastern european and had a Man Utd tracksuit top on. Was pleased with how I managed the natural emotions arising from that perfect storm bombarding my senses.

Probably lost on the journey home from Wembley

He stank. You smelled.

So I'm watching some rugby league and apparently they've introduced a clock to reduce the time the players spend dicking around at scrums. This is okay with me. What really annoys me is that they are calling it a 'shot clock'. They're not ******* shooting anything, it's a ******* scrum. I don't need any shit Americanisms while I'm watching Australian sport for ****s sake.

Croydon and it's ridiculous traffic schemes and road works - hour and a half to get home to WW yesterday!!

What you could have walked it quicker!! Where was the hold up?

From the top:

Road works in Beddington Farm Road
Road works on A23
Road works around broad green
Road works from the Plough to A23
Road works on Waddon Road (decent cut through - now one-way)
School holidays shoppers
Macro
Best Buy
Croydon drivers (not including me obviously!)

If it is rugby league calling it a scrum is a way bigger offence than having a shot clock.

Tim Vickery, the South American correspondent for Talksport. Bore off FFS

He was excellent on 5Live. We need more decent journalists covering football in the media, not the usual retinue of ex-Liverpool players who can string a couple of sentences together.

Or has he dumbed down for TalkSport?

He certainly knows his stuff but a succession of lame jokes (we even got the 'not even a household name in his own house' today) and ostentatious South American pronunciation tipped me over the edge