F*cking Bisto ads, and those coffee ads with that munter Sharon Maughan.

Aint that the truth. I recall being actually incredulous when i saw that compare the meerkat advert and they were selling the cuddly toy first in front of any original message for what the company actually did in the first place.

Its surely only a matter of time before that ******** robot on prozac is being sold on confused dot com.

Have you seen the recent confused advert? He's only ruddy enlisted all his robot mates to come on an adventure to rescue him ..... Certainly gives Gareth Hunt / Nescafé a run for their money ...... Perhaps Nescafé should have "spun off" and sold toothbrushes or something .

I despise having adverts shoved in my face all the time and this doesn't help.

wankers. Absolute wankers. Compare the silent big bald bloke in New Jersey who refused to show any kind of friendliness or humour to the woman at Heathrow who chatted to us (as in my family) happily when we got back. You don't have to treat people like subhuman scum to do your job.

People who think that memes are a web based phenomenon and believe that there are certain 'meme' rules that must be followed.

Utter ****wits, the lot of them.

Maybe do some research on the theory behind the concept before showing your ignorance in public? :-)

People that get all self important over job titles.

Getting up in the middle of the night for a piss .

True, the person that invents the App to do that for you will earn a ******* fortune.

Office workers that treat a cup of Starbucks coffee like crack cocaine as they march through tube stations holding it in front of themselves.

I guess the consequences of not doing that might be more annoying!

We were only talking about that yesterday. I got an e-mail from some little 5 man company and the guy was calling himself "Director of Quality".

I can just imagine him on holiday telling people, "Oh yes, myself I'm a Director of Quality".

Not that I have tried it. But I imagine drinking crack cocaine would taste better than Starbucks.

I love it when someone tells me they're a Head Chef, only to discover they are the only person working in the kitchen.

It's like declaring yourself Captain of a surfboard.

People who don't appreciate how hard it is to captain a surfboard

This one annoys and bemuses me in equal measures.

For a country that is so overly friendly once you're in, they sure as heck (see what I did there) don't make you feel welcome at customs.

Customs officer in Las Vegas asked me, “What's the purpose of your visit?”. The overwhelming temptation was to say.....
a. “Take a guess”.
b. “To consume as many drugs and f**k as many prostitutes/hookers as my body can manage”.

The correct answer is of course, “I'm on holiday/vacation”.

People who bang on about their politics on facebook, I don't think they care about the cause tbh, just an excuse to show how right on left wing or proper naughty right wing they are like a fashion statement.

People that keep saying the word like throughout their sentence. Worst of all is if they do this and then raise the tone of their voice at the end. Drives me up the wall and makes me want to give them a slap.

When you call up a doctors/company etc only to be met by a secretary that sounds like she's got something stuck up her ass. Whatever you say seems a problem or and you feel like an incontinence. Does my head in.

John Lewis Partner.