Morrison's is the leader for useless self service machines

Put a lightweight packet of crisps or some aspirin in the bag and it's 'Please remove the last item from the bagging area' making all around think you are thieving.

The slightest touch of the weighing plate by anything being scanned sends the machine into a continuous loop of weighing options that can't be stopped until some mute bored shop person waves a worn plastic card at the machine.

General hates are:

People who stand in line waiting who are so fixated on someone nearly finishing that they don't realise two other machines are actually free!

People who take trolleys to the machines especially those who bash it into you as they use the next machine.

People who stare at each item slowly revolving them to see if there may be a barcode on them then wafting the item at 0.0001mph across the scanner and almost congratulating themselves as it beeped. Ten items in ten minutes.

******* Morrison *****.

My local one has got rid of the under 10 items checkout because of the so called 'self' service machines, that require more than me to complete my shop via them.

I have boycotted the store. So there Morrisons, hope that teaches yer.

This annoys me too. Especially when handed over by someone who is so desperate not to touch you they let go of it in mid air and it goes everywhere. Now I don't know where they have been either and have no desire to be touched but FFS hand it over carefully.

The Jubilee Line. Especially from London Bridge towards Waterloo.

People who don't move down tube carriages - f*ck your f*cking personal space.

The two things are linked.

Don't ever visit Japan.

The dark thoughts that envelop my soul when some div tourist idles in front of me when I'm trying to get to work/get home would scare most people I reckon.

You work ?

Holy shit

I have visions of myself punching a slow walker in the head, to be greeted by rapturous applause from fellow frustrated fast-pacers like myself.

How is it someone can go to another country and immediately lose all of their common sense?

That's a bit harsh on SC.

He never had any in the first place

Go to Sainsburys and press the 'use own bags' button, takes 10 mins for staff to sort it out!!

Correct. English tourists in Spain who suddenly think its ok to walk the whole family and kids in buggies down the middle of a road when there are perfectly good pavements either side. When you drive up behind them a toot they give you shit back! And when they get into their own hire cars they think they can just stop or park on a roundabout or slow right down in the middle of the street to an almost stop for whatever reason I'll never know. Brains left at Gatwick etc.

Bike from tesco, and people who buy bikes from tesco then bring them to me to be built, and especially the ones who object to being quoted £50 + parts for me to build said pile of shit

Aye, as a rally car driver.

According to the Nottinghamshire constabulary.

:hmph:

The Chinese are the slowest walkers in the world around covent garden.

Yet if you do a bunk from one of their restaurants without paying they run like feck.

Can we add people who don't bag their items as they are scanning them, instead preferring to place all the items on top of the unopened bags meaning they take twice as long to try and do it all at the end? Always thought this bit seemed to be common sense but the vast majority of folk do it this way.

People who bitch about self-scanning checkouts in supermarkets.

Don't assist the supermarkets' strategy to increase profits and reduce employees.

Insist on using a checkout with a human being and feck their share price.

^^^^ this

if I wanted to 'play shopping' I'd work in a shop.

I would totally agree except the supermarkets deliberately minimize the manned tills to ensure those that wanted to be served ( I worked a till for years as a kid so it's my fecking turn surely?! ) are punished by standing in a massive queue. I told a checkout supervisor that there's basically two types of tills now in Sainsburys; 'serve yourself' or 'f*ck yourself'

Office Talk. What a load of shit, everyone only seems to be able to communicate by using cliches. Just speak normally
"Drop Dave a line because we need a back of a fag packet ballpark figure, so we can stamp out any errors moving forward."

Also, being unable to leave for lunch without saying the obligatory farewell of...
"Just going to get some lunch...does anyone want anything from outside?" When deeply hoping no one takes up your offer.

And Millwall, of course.