For the same reason you always find things in the last place you look.

If you get on a train and the middle seat is empty and the fella next to you has quite broad shoulders, don't engage in a pointless battle of trying to squeeze your shoulders in. ****wit. I couldn't think of a witty response either, so stayed silent. Happy to hear suggestions :)

**** that, lazy bastards should score movies the same as everyone else

all the women judges on BGT/X Factor then

A Facebook correspondence:

"hey Connor, how you been?"
"Alright mate, you?"
"yeah sweet man. do you think you can get me a ticket for the man utd and palace fa cup final???"

My film (not 'movies') marks are out of 11.

An 11/11 **** is what you is.

Had 3 people do this to me so far.

One went to the Semi, but not a palace fan so nah. One was someone i've not spoken to for 6 months but made out like we're still such close mates, and was at least kind enough to spend 10 mins asking whats going on in my life before popping the question. And the other, my old boss, again, someone i haven't spoken to in 7/8 months. Didn't ask me directly. Saw her facebook status asking people to get her 2 tickets for her nephews for the final. She tried ringing me, knew exactly what she was ringing for. Let it ring through to voicemail. "Ring me back please".... I never rang back.

All of em come out the woodwork.

they can all ******* do one

Fat people who drive to work, never take the stairs, then spend the whole of their lunch hour moaning their diet isn't working. After just polishing off chicken and chips and also never being too far away from some form of cake during their working hours.

Twathouses

Mmmm....chicken and chips. And cake.

Yeah I hate them fat c*nts.

Thick. illiterate lorry drivers.
Delayed my journey into work this morning

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-36200939

At first sight the headline is a bit misleading. The lorry hit a Lambeth bridge; not Lambeth Bridge.

The right answer. I'd rather give any spare ticket to a stranger who posts on here a lot, than someone who crawls out of the woodwork to target me on bookface.

Given it's one ticket per person, where are all these alleged 'spare tickets' going to come from?

You may have a family member or neighbour at palace that is unable/doesn't want to attend for whatever reason.

Remote controls that require Olympic marksmanship precision to turn the channel over.

Short beer measures in pubs. As I've had a few days off I've been out and around and it seems to be a general policy not to fill the pint glass(I'm a real ale drinker). Five times in the last 3 days I've had to ask for my pint to be topped up...[emoji35]

The sudden insistence within the media of pronouncing the Bernabeu differently to how it's been pronounced for the last f*cking fifty years. F*ck off.