Politicians

Old women.

Robbie Savage

The illiterate missives from my son's teacher.

You could send it back with corrections in red ink and a C grade.

Having a cold

Know what you mean. Felt freezing all day.

Probably going cold turkey from the varnish fumes :)

Still going strong with that nonsense sadly, done 2 coats of the decking and just sealing the underneath with some more. Have to do some each day before the brush dries up :)

Rufus Hound

Miranda Hart,about as much fun as cystitis.

Painting screw heads a wood-like colour

http://i.imgur.com/hDrweba.jpg?1

http://i.imgur.com/HR0tNfr.jpg?1

http://i.imgur.com/a2Ui9RI.jpg?1

Note to brain: Buy the right bloody colour next time.

Are you trying to create your own mini Terracotta warriors display?

:)

The paint probably won't stay on them anyway, but the 'antique' coloured version of those screws cost an arm and a leg, believe it or not. So I'm hoping this 5 pound alternative works. Poking 600 screws through cardboard took a while, so qualified for the category.

People who say "truth be told".

Oh, and while we are at it, people who 'seize the day', Carpe Diem and all that cobblers. I miss the days when all the working class needed from Latin was Status Quo.

Or people when you're queuing at the bar "Veni Vidi Vici" - jeez.

Some annoying bloke on an ad they've got running on the radio: "It's a story of how one thing led to another!"

That's what a story is, you prick.

Anyone who says "even a broken clock is right twice a day"

I was just thinking, won't the screwdriver scrape the paint off again?

I hope not, because you deserve success for all your effort and ingenuity. And I'm sure you tested the theory on one, before you went ahead with the effort of doing all 600...you did, didn't you Elgin?

Gastropubs, having to eat a burger off driftwood instead of a plate because a twat with a beard thinks it's cool.