Thinking I could help my daughter to enjoy her birthday by joining in the trampolining into the foam pit. I did, by breaking my glasses and acting like a beached whale whilst trying to get out of the pit.

Colleagues. People.

'city'
'united'

Unless you come from Manchester please desist from referring to them without the manchester or man prefix. Obviously in the case of the latter there is a far more suitable name in 'wankers'.

Why, that doesn't sound dangerous at all. Is your daughter in SAS training?

You need to do it to appreciate the difficulty and annoyance. A bit like eating deep fried haggis.

It sounds vomit inducing and hard enough to do already without introducing fried haggis into the equation. You're lucky to escape with only your glasses busted.

Making a stick of dynamite with a remote control detonator look like a French Baguette would do it though.

Well played.

Thank you :)

I've played so many people on it.

Who do you support?
United
We had your ex manager Warnock at Palace.
Warnock never managed United.
Eh? He's Sheffield through and through.
No mate, man united
F*** off C***.

:)

Sky are to blame for a lot of it too. City this, city that, trying to keep their big 4 bias. Bit fecked now Leicester are top.

I pulled similar on a plastic manc wanker on Saturday. Lol
He was Spanish and did not understand. Sod it, I laughed.:confused:

Yet another fantastic highlight in supporting our club. There's something wonderfully elegant about answering whom we support . Just one word. Classic and timeless. A word no-one else can lay claim to.

Palace :love::love:

A Gooner was sitting next to me yesterday and at the start if the game he asked if I was Palace. The club crest on my shirt may have been a giveaway you twat. When I said yes he said "Sorry mate" chuckling. I said "why should I be sorry for being a Palace fan?", he replied "no didn't mean it like that, just meant I'm going to be shouting in your earhole when we score".

Well who had f*cking burst eardrums in the end eh? It wasn't me.

Via a rammed home knitting needle I hope?

Actually recognising so many Elton John song titles/lyrics.

:lux: :lux: :lux:

Getting to the tube station in the morning before it has opened.

It annoys me that when applying sun cream, a mere two grains of sand in the vicinity suddenly feels like half the feckin' beach is on me. It's like the grains have an evil mind of their own and self-multiply whenever they sense the factor 50.

When you call certain companies before they put you through to someone they ask you a load of questions which include your name and account number. When you are finally allowed through this vetting process, the first thing you are asked is your name and account number.