IKEA stuff is overpriced shite anyway.

Checkout folk who seem incapable of starting to scan your shopping until your basket has been emptied.

Anyone eating at a subway is subhuman anyway!

Can be dangerous as they can stick in your throat when posted out...having lost their moistness..... :moo:

must not bite...

Which all makes perfect sense, to us because we are blokes. And for that reason we also have no voting rights.

My Facebook feed being full of St Patrick Day stuff

plastic paddies are worse than AIDS

Surely that's to stop it piling up at the end when there's no one to pack it. I'd rather they do that then whizz it through whilst I rush to catch up.

If you're posting this sort of thing at 21, I can't imagine what you'll be like at 22, let alone 40!

IKEA is hell on earth. I was dragged round it once. Never again. Got lost for hours!

"Don't worry - there is shortcut over there, it will get us back to kitchenware; I know where we are then." No it didn't. No she didn't.

I reckon Lord Lucan isn't dead at all - just hiding out in IKEA.

And another thing. For years I thought it was called I-KEA. I now learn it is actually IK-EA. Still can't find anything though, whatever it is called.

IKEA comes under he heading of mental cruelty.

Women - full stop, end of story, close the thread. :veryangry

?

People trying to interact with me in the lift. I stand there with my headphones in specifically to avoid small talk with people I have no interest in communicating with, and people still don't seem to get the ******* message.

Supermarket staff at self-scan that think they are the first ones to make the "Now, are you really over 25?" gag when approving my alcohol purchase. Oh God, here we go.. Yes!! Over 25 stones. No!! l'm only 19 really, but I've had a hard life!!! - which usually results in "Oh, you did a really long paper round then? No. I am clearly over 25. I'm 53, with hardly any hair, and look more like 93, get waved into retirement villages, am being stalked by Saga insurance services and have absolutely no sense of humour at this present moment. Now **** off and push the approve button before you go forth and multiply.

No. 7 does certainly apply to me, does that mean that one day I'll be a serial killer?

I've already alerted the authorities

I saw a bloke go into total Basil Fawlty style meltdown in there once. He was like a child in a supermarket. His face was crimson and he was bellowing something along the lines of "YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME. IT WON'T MATCH. THE WALLPAPER IS BLUE. THIS IS GREEN. JUST LOOK. LOOK. IT. WILL. NOT. MATCH. WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME??". Everyone was staring and sniggering at him but his wife, who'd seen it all before just quietly said to him "David, you're making a scene again. Please can you calm down".

The streetlights will be owned by different councils, where I am the newer ones which will be going LED belong to Kent County Council, the traditional ones are ours (the Parish Council). They are mixed up throughout the village.

My life is so boring.