"Hey buddy, move outta the way so I can take a photograph on the tooob."

Realising to late that you grabbed the deep heat instead of the lube. Upsets the misses as well

You get these types all the time in China, especially with their spoilt shit little kids. The other day in McDonald's the other day, the moron in front of me says to the waiter "I want a KFC burger". How I didn't slap him upside the is a mystery.

So true, its not like I have any thing else I could throw... oh what about all the ******* coins in my pocket that I used to pay for the bottle. Stadium safety really is just a chance for little killjoy Hitlerites to make their shriveled up little dicks feel big by inconveniencing the rest of us. Scum, sub-human scum.

Thanks for giving a word for it. I ******* hate Toppers.

We generally refer to them as Elevenerifes ie if you've been to Tenerife then they have been to ....

AKA 'Black Catting bastards'.

If you've been to the moon and put a nail through it they've been round the back and bent it.

If you've got an Elephant, they've got the bag it goes in.

You've had just two hours' sleep, they've had minus two.

I know a bloke over here, I said some of us were going to go to Karaoke and he said I've sung on stage in front of 2,000 people before. Yeah, nah, do one mate.

The funny looks you get walking around with a black carrier bag early doors, i'm not an alcoholic i've got scotch eggs and mini cheddars. Then the funny looks and evasive tactics when you have to tell everyone you pass what's in the bag.

You should've made sure the last photo he ever took was the front of an oncoming train.

Where I work they are called two-shits

Just give them all a whole plane to themselves and double pay for the cabin crew who would have to put up with these uncontrolled shits.

It doesn't matter what airline you're on, there's always at least one screaming bastard within earshot. Why should people have to pay the earth just to get away from selfish c*nt parents (considering these low cost airlines are rarely low cost any more anyway)? I know a few mates who have all taken kids on planes, being aware of this problem they make sure their kids behave. Kicking the seat in front. Parents who can clearly see this happening and do nothing should be allowed by the person they are annoying to have a cup of scolding hot tea thrown over their faces. And then have that Ryanair trumpet 'on time' fanfair played afterwards as everyone applauds.

People with e-tickets telling you that you are in their seat despite the fact it is a seat that you bought a season ticket for. :veryangry

I hate them more.

******* ******* wanking shit **** bollocks arsehole.

To present another side:

I've taken my kids on planes before. Both of mine are still very young. They behaved though, and didn't scream all flight.

For the avoidance of doubt though, if one of them did scream all flight, and some twat attempted to complain to me, they'd have to complain about a broken nose shortly afterwards.

:hi:

Bloke up the golf club known by everyone as two sheds.

When somebody brings you a cup of tea only half full. Build my expectations and crush them there and then all in one foul blow.