People who don't turn the volume off on self-service machines in supermarkets.

Shit, I never knew you could do that. How do you turn it off? I thought they were all set to max to drive the assistant insane for some heinous earlier crime.

Little speaker icon controls the volume, press it until it mutes. I must admit that while this is true for tesco & sainsbury i cannot vouch for other retailers, co-op, netto etc.

Rupert Bear and golfers. Check trousered bellends.

Golfers, it goes without saying, but Rupert?! Whats the bear ever done but promote inter-species friendship?

Cheers will look for it next time. Must confess usually i'm focussed on getting out of the shop as soon as possible and hoping the fecking machine doesn't screw me over or start asking for the insane assistant.

Coming home the other day to find my missus had put the heating on, it's June to stupid bitch:veryangry

Filling up bagels. Bread with a fvcking great big hole in it. It's like a mouse has been through it overnight. Or the Hatton Garden robbers.

Holding a glass door open for someone coming the other way, who then walks through without saying a word, even a cheeky one like 'cheers doorman'. Sorely tempted to retrieve him and put him back through said glass door, without opening it. Common assault laws are so biased in favour of the rude and the smug.

New one for today.

People who insist on wearing back packs in confined spaces (lifts, tube, trains etc). These can just as easily be taken off and placed at their feet.

Escaping work to pay a cheque in to enjoy just a little of the sunshine.

Clouds covering the sky right until I walk back in the door at work.

The low fuel light coming on just before I get to work.

Getting in the car in the morning only to find the Mrs or Jnr used all the petrol last night and didn't fill it up :veryangry

Add pubs to that list.

People that insist on standing and drinking at the bar in a busy pub, making it even more difficult to get served.

Credit cards being accepted in pubs for poxy little rounds. GO TO A CASHPOINT FIRST YOU MORONS:veryangry

And then they get pissed off with you when you have to reach over them to get your drinks. Get out of the way dickheads.

People who dont carry cash!!

This is going to cause problems.

The endless bloody begging adverts for starving Africans and their kids. I watched Sky News this morning and every advert break was plastered by these begging commercials. Do they not get enough on Red Nose Day and all year round related charities?

The place never improves and hasn't done so since the first Live Aid day in the 80s yet they still find money to buy weapons to slaughter each other with.

If they're starving and so weak as portrayed on these adverts how come they have enough energy to shag and shag to produce more and more starving kids?

If I haven't eaten much the day before I can barely raise a morning wank let alone bang another kid out.

Incoming.

And yes I'm pissed.