Good blokes usually! :)

Rubbing with compound may help

Barking dogs.

Or more their selfish dickhead owners

Eateries that don't butter bread for a sandwich. WTF is that all about?

Alternatively ones that put an inch of foul Marge or spread on it.

Eateries - usually of the pretentious gastro variety - that don't use plates. Bits of wood, small silver buckets, slate kitchen floor tiles and flower pots are NOT suitable for serving food on/in.
If said eateries think they're being hip and quirky by using unsuitable objects for functions they are clearly not designed for then they won't mind if I take a shit in their sink rather than using the toilet.
Gastro wankers.

^^^
This. I have no desire to eat my food off B&Q offcuts. Humans managed to invent an improvement hundreds of years ago.

It's called a plate.

People that use the quote button to copy a 1000 word post and simply say something like "I agree" or "This" or "^^^^^". Especially when it happens 4 or 5 times.

It's an outrage, it makes my blood boil, I'm so angry I could...........................

Amen brother, amen... Both Mrs In Rome and myself hate this latest development. When her meal is served up on an unglazed Provencal roof tile, she politely says "... can you please serve me my meal on a proper plate?"

One waitress was so fazed by this she had to go and speak to the manager "to see if it was allowed".

Pretentious assholes, the lot of 'em.

Sorry I just pissed myself at that. As long as it didn't smell (then yes smash his face in) I would join him. Mile high club for trouser rippers.

A pub in CP has just started serving chips in flower pots. What is wrong with these people??

Especially glass blowers.

Planes - eg 747 that don't have those little air vents above the seat. When you are traveling with a farter you bloody well miss that blast of fresh air.

Which raises another issue with plane farters: when on a plane with air vents and there's some smelly twat farting I obviously reach for the vent and put it full on. Thing is are you then identified by other travelers as the farter or the fartee? The fresh air is worth the risk of the former if you ask me.

This

Probably been done to death but waiters who always ask of everything is ok when I have a face full of food

It annoys me alot that i ordered curry at 7pm and its still not ******* here!!!!!

Should have ordered the Chicken Tarka - it's like tikka but otter.

Went to a cowboy/western themed place called Smith and Western, and my son had hotdog and chips, but it came in some silly plastic basket. I asked for a plate and transferred the food onto it. They looked at me like I was crazy.

Maybe I was a bit grumpy, but if I wanted food served like that I've have paid 3 quid and gone to McDonalds

Getting back onto farts, I'm convinced my mother is deliberately holding her farts in until she's just outside my bedroom door and letting rip; that, or she's dashing outside the living room once she can feel them coming.

What if I had a friend round FFS?

That my new speakers still haven't been delivered.