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Memory Lane Memories and nostalgia about Crystal Palace F.C

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Old 17-11-2020, 03:04 PM
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Which pisstake/joke about Palace made you laugh?

I must admit after the 9-0 stuffing at Anfield I did LOL at the "What have Michael Jackson and Perry Digweed got in common" joke.

It must have been caused by the hysteria in the aftermath, as I hated the bloke who first told me it.
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Old 17-11-2020, 03:08 PM
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Tease
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Old 17-11-2020, 03:08 PM
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Shouldn't that be Perry Suckling? Or am I being whooshed?
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Old 17-11-2020, 03:16 PM
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laths came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietlaths came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietlaths came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietlaths came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietlaths came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietlaths came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietlaths came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietlaths came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietlaths came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietlaths came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietlaths came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
Driving up-to Ipswich Town away sometime after our 9 nil thrashing at Liverpool, we were overtaken by a car displaying Brighton stickers etc. My car also displayed palace stickers .
Giving them the finger gesticulation treatment the feccers displayed a huge 9 - 0 sign across their back window. Talk about being prepared.
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Old 17-11-2020, 03:28 PM
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I don't know, what have Michael Jackson and Perry Digweed (Suckling*) got in common?

*Not sure if Perry Digweed (Fulham/Brighton/Chelsea/Wimbledon) is intended, or whether it should be Perry Suckling who was in goal for us for the 9-0.
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Old 17-11-2020, 03:32 PM
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Perry Suckling and Peter Shilton unfortunately passed away on the same day. They're sitting together nervously in Gods waiting room, ready to be interviewed to see if they are suitable for heaven.
St Peter comes out and calls in Perry first. "What's your name? date of birth etc. Then he asked him, " and what was your occupation when you were down on earth? "A goalkeeper with Crystal Palace," said Perry. "Okay in you go said Pete, opening the door to heaven.
Next, he calls Shilts. When he got to asking him his occupation Shilton replied, "I was England's top goalkeeper for many years and I got 125 caps for my country."
"Sorry," said Peter," but heavens full up with keepers. We haven't allowed any more to enter in years."
"But you let Perry in," said a puzzled Shilts.
St Peter beckoned Shilton over, then whispering in his ear said, "between you and me he's no fxckin goalkeeper."
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Old 17-11-2020, 03:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Stockport_Eagle View Post
I don't know, what have Michael Jackson and Perry Digweed (Suckling*) got in common?

*Not sure if Perry Digweed (Fulham/Brighton/Chelsea/Wimbledon) is intended, or whether it should be Perry Suckling who was in goal for us for the 9-0.
Digweed appeared in Mean Machine.
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Old 17-11-2020, 03:38 PM
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In the spirit of the thread intent (despite the big fail) I've always liked the story that was attributed to having been told by Steve Coppell so is an acceptable piss take.

Palace were a bit short of players for a training session game, so he (Coppell) placed some dustbins strategically about the pitch to represent opposition players.

After 20 minutes the dustbins were winning 2-0!
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Old 17-11-2020, 03:45 PM
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Perry Suckling and Peter Shilton unfortunately passed away on the same day. They're sitting together nervously in Gods waiting room, ready to be interviewed to see if they are suitable for heaven.
St Peter comes out and calls in Perry first. "What's your name? date of birth etc. Then he asked him, " and what was your occupation when you were down on earth? "A goalkeeper with Crystal Palace," said Perry. "Okay in you go said Pete, opening the door to heaven.
Next, he calls Shilts. When he got to asking him his occupation Shilton replied, "I was England's top goalkeeper for many years and I got 125 caps for my country."
"Sorry," said Peter," but heavens full up with keepers. We haven't allowed any more to enter in years."
"But you let Perry in," said a puzzled Shilts.
St Peter beckoned Shilton over, then whispering in his ear said, "between you and me he's no fxckin goalkeeper."
Better without the last two lines.
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Old 17-11-2020, 03:51 PM
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I thought it was funny when Vardy scored and did a comedy eagle flapping run in front of the holmesdale. After copping so much abuse about his wife being a grass. Fair play to him.
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Old 17-11-2020, 04:15 PM
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I thought it was funny when Vardy scored and did a comedy eagle flapping run in front of the holmesdale. After copping so much abuse about his wife being a grass. Fair play to him.
Some were.... errr. spitting feathers. I actually burst out laughing. Funny as ****.
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Old 17-11-2020, 04:17 PM
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Shouldn't that be Perry Suckling? Or am I being whooshed?
You're right, I'm wrong. I'm still recovering from the damage of that evening.
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Old 17-11-2020, 04:50 PM
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You're right, I'm wrong. I'm still recovering from the damage of that evening.
Rule 2 of comedy... get the names right.

Rule 1 of comedy... never explain your jokes.

Rule 3 of comedy... don't give up your day job.

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Old 22-11-2020, 07:28 AM
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Old 22-11-2020, 09:02 AM
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Dalglish moaning after the 9 nil that Liverpool should have had 2 pens was great dry humour which was totally lost on me at the time.
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